One Perfect Mess

Archive for February, 2010

*I have to suppress a giggle every time Pete calls him “Mickey the Mouse.” My kids have taken whatever tiny bit of cool I had and peed on it, scratched it with their tiny fingernails and then dropped it down a heat vent.

*Going to the library to get new books to read the kids seems like such a great outing for them. Unfortunately I cannot actually pick any new books while I have them with me because I spend the entire time chasing them down, rescuing my teetering toddler from his perch atop the reading tables and issuing threats in a hissy whisper.

*I should not try to exercise with my children underfoot. I am not a nice person when I exercise and I find myself being entirely too snippy by the eleventh “mommy what you doing?”

*I need more lunch ideas that are heavy on the protein. Between the breastfeeding and working out every day I am so punchy for calories by mid-afternoon that I find myself eating icing out of the container with a spoon. Seems like there would be a much better way to get the energy I need.

*It is hard to think of very many random thoughts because every other thought I have is “I am so freaking tired.”

We are in the nap trap around here. I knew it was too good to last when both kids would sleep for a couple of hours in the afternoon. The last few weeks the Peanut has been taking his morning nap around nine and then not wanting to sleep again until late in the afternoon.

** Insert lots of whining and frustration and tiny violins here **

I know eventually he’ll go from two naps to one and then we should have a good chance they will overlap again for awhile. Not only does it make going out and doing things difficult with Peanut’s nap from 9-11, Weebles nap from 12-3 and then Peanut’s nap from 4-6 but more importantly there is zero time in my day where both kids are sleeping! It might not be the only reason for my grumpy mood these days, but it sure isn’t helping!

It was Not Me that wore the same pair of jeans every day last week without bothering to wash them. Well.. it wasn’t like I didn’t bother to wash them so much as it was I had them on every time I did laundry so I couldn’t.

It is Not Me that has to put my 14 month old son in a car seat (his sister’s pink one no less) to get him to sleep more than 20 minutes. That would seem like bad parenting, or something.

It is Not Me that doesn’t bother to even try washing my two year old’s hands when we use public restrooms. Between the high counter that is always soaked, the automatic water that won’t stay on and the stupid hand dryers that are totally inefficient it just isn’t worth the struggle. We use Purell and call it a day.

It was Not Me earlier this week that told my toddler that if she opened the front door to the house by herself without an adult there with her that a big monster might be in the yard and he might get her. In retrospect that would have probably not been the best way to discourage that… you know IF that had been me. Which it wasn’t.

The Weebles is sleeping peacefully in my lap, it is snowing outside and all should be right with my world. Yet… somehow I’m still in a shit mood. Meh.

**Where the eff did the badge for this go? Thanks for nothing Google.

**I am in a pretty shit mood today. I am getting really tired of people not doing what they say they are going to. It isn’t like I go to any trouble or anything.

**I hate putting sheets and pillowcases back on the bed after washing them.

**Tomorrow is the last day of our most recent round of antibiotics. If these don’t work we are getting sent to an ENT which might mean surgery for our little ones. All because of one stupid fucking virus. The kids are both still coughing with runny noses so I don’t have great hopes that this was the miracle cure.

**I took the day off from Shred. I had hoped to have plenty of time to myself the next few days as the in laws were supposed to be here to spend time with the kids. That didn’t work out so it is going to be much harder to fit in me time this weekend. Me time is in short supply around here the last month or so. Got NMTZ in the mail today and was really looking forward to giving it a try. Maybe I will get lucky and they will nap at the same time tomorrow.

**I am in danger of a full blown Fage addiction. Please tell me Greek yogurt is healthy.

**The Weebles learned how to use the touch pad on the laptop today to play the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse games on Disney.com. She is going to be zooming around the internet in no time.

**I really need to work on moving my blog. But there are about a hundred other things I’d rather do first when I find a minute to myself so it might be awhile yet.

**Did I mention I was in a shit mood? Yeah.

I’ve started reading parenting books because the fear of raising axe murderers has started to set in after getting a gander at a category 5 toddler tantrum. I’m going to review them as I finish them to help me glean the finer points of each since it is already evident there is no “one size fits all” answer.

The first up is the Love & Logic method. Sounded good to me and endorsed by the teachers at my daughter’s preschool so I checked it out of the library and gave it a once over. The basic premise is to use natural consequences to teach children about good decision making. Sounds logical I suppose. Unfortunately I have to take issue with a few points in the book. I know that tearing apart an entire method due to just one or two examples is going overboard but these in particular really seemed… well, like shitty parenting.

The first was the notion that if your child is getting physically attacked by an older child for being a smartass to them you should let it continue because a black eye is a small price to pay for learning that you shouldn’t be a smartass. Umm no. I hope my children aren’t smartasses but honestly if they are it is totally my my husband’s fault. Assault is never appropriate. I don’t see how the logical conclusion to that wouldn’t be that my child would learn that then they can turn around and beat up other people when they don’t like how they are acting. Totally ridiculous.

The second suggestion that I found outrageous was the concept of withholding food. The example was to tell your child that they could join the family for the next meal as soon as they mowed the lawn. If they didn’t mow the lawn, no food. “Hey I work to buy food to eat and that’s how life works kid.” Yeah. Notsomuch. I think teaching them to value of work is very important and they can learn to earn money to buy extras and other things they might want but not necessarily need. I believe that it is a parent’s job to provide necessities for their children and that most certainly includes food. Anybody that refuses to feed their child because they wouldn’t mow the lawn is an asshole.

Aside from those extreme examples I do thing there was good to be taken from the book. Giving your child choices, even from a young age (they suggested nine months) teaches them good decision making skills and builds confidence. Plus, you might meet with less resistance if you give your kid a choice rather than dole out orders all the time. We have been trying this, and lots of times it is great. When dealing with something my 2 1/2 year simply doesn’t want to do it gets us nowhere. “Hey honey, would you like to take your medicine in the living room or the kitchen?” or “Would you like to take it all by yourself or do you want mommy to help you?” gets me a nice loud “Uh UH”. But I do like the idea of choices so we’ll definitely be working that into our routine a lot more. I also like the idea of giving plenty of empathy and keeping your child’s problems theirs instead of taking them on yourself. Telling your child you are so sorry they are tired because they refused to nap and empathizing with them that you know how you feel super tired when you don’t get sleep plants in their little minds that the way they are feeling is a result of their own actions.

Up next: The Discipline Book by Dr Sears