One Perfect Mess

Archive for November, 2009

I used to like to blog. I looked forward to it. Clearly something has gone awry. Now it’s all like ohforfuckssake AGAIN with the blogging? I’m not one for quitting so I’m still plowing ahead. Just be forewarned there is all kinds of written garbage headed your way.

We’re in the midst of a sleep regression here in the Slawter household. Two of them to be more accurate. For the uninitiated, a sleep regression is a period in the development of a child where they are on the verge of major developmental milestones and as a result their little brains are so busy prattling on with excitement that they cannot sleep. The definition is way the hell cuter than the reality of it.

You’ll be going along, night after night thinking “Hey! the kids sure seem to be sleeping better… we’re totally making progress. Just imagine in a few weeks I might not get up at all at this rate.” This is where you should stop. Because it makes it even worse when the inevitable happens.

I’m not exaggerating when I say that for the last three or four nights just as soon as my head hits the pillow a child wakes up. You can then repeat that scenario six or seven times throughout the night. Believe it or not, this leaves a person tired, frazzled and somewhat pissed off (if that someone is short on patience as I am.) And after the stretch of pretty decent sleep it is especially crippling to backtrack so spectacularly.

But hey! Good news, I guess this means my kids should be doing some new amazing things in the next couple of weeks! Walking? Talking? Doing the laundry?

* I should be packing. The amount of crap that has to go with us when we go anywhere overnight is astounding. Beds, blankets, loveys, food, cups/dishes, clothes, more clothes, toys, movies, medicine, more clothes… crazy. I cannot fathom why my husband and I didn’t just pick up and go more often while we still could. Hear that childless people? Travel while it still seems worth the effort!!

* I’m having a hella time finding Christmas + birthday presents for my little guy. Part of the problem is that he inherited so many toys from his big sister that it limits the good ideas. The other difficulty is that he is just now starting to really enjoy playing so I don’t have a great handle on what his favorites are going to be yet. And then of course I have the double whammy of back to back gift buying occasions for him so I feel like I need twice as many ideas.

* At what point do you step in when a relative is being obnoxious to your children? If anyone else had intentionally made my baby boy cry and then laughed in his face the mama bear in me would have ripped them to pieces. But today I just sat and stared and then looked at my dad for a reaction, got none and was duly disappointed in him. Should be used to it by now I guess.

* I have so many loose ends to tie up in the coming weeks. Preschool enrollment forms, beach house rental deposits, Christmas cards. Yikes! I’d better find what is left of my marbles and get them all in one place so I might actually get some things done.

* Get well Anissa. I miss teh funny.

There were lots of different directions I thought about going today. I hated to give up a Wordless Wednesday but felt like that wouldn’t be a very profound way to mark a milestone. Then last night I got online after getting the kids to bed to this news.

Anissa is the ringleader of the Aiming Low gals, one of my favorite blogging sites. I’m a D List blogger (as you can see from my sidebar) but Anissa? Anissa is what the “A” in A List stands for. I am being reminded again today of why the blogging community is so important to me as everyone rallies around her and her family.

As I go through my day I look at things in a different light. Sure, I could bitch that the kids got up at 5:30 (AGAIN!?!?!) or that my two year old dumped an entire box of Cheerios all over the floor this morning. But then I remember Anissa. I think about her husband, her three kids, all her friends. And I tell myself to shut the fuck up. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go eat some kittehs in her honor.

Today is fight for preemies day. I remember when I was pregnant being terrified my babies would come early. Each week I would search the internet for statistics on the survival rates for babies born at that point in my pregnancy. I would go on to read about possible complications they might face, length of NICU stays and their future prognosis. What can I say? I’m a worrier.

I was a preemie myself weighing just five pounds when I was born. I’ve done my very best to catch up in the weight department. I’ve had friends and co-workers that have had preemies and seen firsthand the stress, worry, helplessness and heartbreak it can cause. I also have a friend that works in the NICU and she amazes me. That isn’t so much a career as a calling I’d have to think. I was thrilled she was able to be there right after my first child was born, but even happier that she was there as nothing more than a friend.

Luckily both my babies were born full term and healthy. While there are lots of things we can do to protect our unborn children we cannot control it all. My next child could very well be born early. We are at a time where we are realizing that preventative medicine is crucial and that all starts during pregnancy. Supporting the March of Dimes is one of the best ways to contribute to the fight against premature birth.

If my kid asks me one more time what I’m doing I’m going to have to go straight into the kitchen and have a shot of whiskey. That is all.

Weekends are a wonderful thing. Even if they are sometimes tiring as hell. I look forward to nothing more during the week than being able to spend two entire days with my wife and kids. During the week, my play-time with the kids is limited. The majority of my time in the morning is spent getting ready for work, and the majority of my time with them in the evening is getting them ready for bed. I still manage to have a lot of fun with my kids on weekdays, but nothing compares to the weekend. As probably most people do, I spend at least part of every day at work wishing that I was home instead. But the funny thing is, each Saturday, usually mid-afternoon, realizing just how exhausting it must be for Mary to be at home alone with the kids on weekdays.

Regardless of what time we manage to get him to sleep at night, the Peanut tends to wake up, without fail, sometime between 5:15 and 5:45 in the morning. This would be all fine and dandy if he was good about taking a nap sometime during the day (well — theoretically anyway…I guess there’s a good chance I’d still complain about getting up that early even if he did nap). But he isn’t good about taking naps during the day, which just adds insult to injury. It’s almost like his sole source of energy is from some invisible solar panel up on our roof (I say up on our roof because if the sun is up, even if he’s in a dark room being rocked while a nice gentle soother is playing, he’s giddy and playful, as though he’s in the middle of a playground with jolting carnival music blaring nearby.)

So, without fail, every Saturday, around 1:30 in the afternoon, after I’m already tired from getting up, playing with and helping care for the kids, doing whatever errands we have to do for the morning, getting lunch and helping to get the Weeble down for her nap, just when I’m looking forward to a break — just for a few minutes — the Peanut suddenly gets his second (third?) wind and has the energy to go on a Babycrawl 5K. What’s insane about all of this is that Mary is with me the whole time, and I still feel that way. I’m not alone with the kids. Maybe the Peanut inherited his ability to harness the sun’s energy from his mom — because as tired as I know being here during the week makes her, she’s gotta be getting the energy to take care of them from somewhere.

** If it doesn’t stop raining I am going to go completely mad. We have been stuck inside for what seems like three months. The Weebles asks me over and over “go outside walk?” I wouldn’t even care about the rain at this point but its forty degrees outside. The double whammy of freezing AND raining I just can’t find a way around.

** How can Thanksgiving be two weeks away? HOW PEOPLE? I don’t even want to think about how much cleaning, shopping and planning I have to do in those two weeks. Not to mention we’re going out of town part of the time between now and then.

** Looming behind Thanksgiving is Christmas. We have about 5% of the decorations out already so at least I feel like that’s a start. But the recipe finding, cookie baking, gift shopping, wrapping, card sending, family fueding, tree installation madness that awaits is a little overwhelming even though it is my favorite time of the year and I love all those things.

** Even after we survive Christmas we have The Peanut’s one year birthday to look forward to a week later. So I’ll have to be planning for that somewhere in all the Christmas mayhem.

** This isn’t so random is it? More of a depressing “oh shit I gots a lot to do why am I just sitting here refreshing twitter?” list. Better get cracking.

Dear Maddie,

I am a stranger to you and your parents. My daughter is only a couple of months older than you and when she was a few months old I discovered “mommy blogs.” Reading them helped me not to feel so alone as I sat here with my baby day after day wondering if I were doing this whole thing right.

About a year ago I found your mommy’s blog. It got bookmarked right away because your mommy is very funny and the beautiful pictures of you jumped off the screen and made me laugh. I looked at your pictures and could see the joy in your eyes and thought that your mom must be a really good mom for you to be so happy.

Over the months I enjoyed reading about you and seeing everything that you were learning and how much you were growing. When you got sick I worried and checked in often for updates. When your mom and dad were hurting I felt helpless, desperately wishing I could change things for them.

I wish I had gotten the opportunity to meet you in person. I have never seen a child so full of life. I would love nothing more than to be buying you a present today and wrapping it with a million curly ribbons for you to laugh at. But I will do the only thing I know to do today to celebrate your life. Today, and every November 11th, I will make a donation to Friends of Maddie in your honor.

Your mom and dad’s posts still make me laugh and all too often they make me cry. I anxiously (but not too anxiously, don’t get any ideas Binky!) await the arrive of your little sister. She will have her own light and her own personality but I have no doubt we will all fall in love with her just like we did with you.

Happy Birthday Maddie.