One Perfect Mess

Archive for September, 2009

Let’s have a little word about food shall we? Cause I really do love food. I especially enjoy shopping for it and cooking it. It’s my pal when I’m bored, or tired or stressed so really that equates to me loving it more than my firstborn because I’m pretty much always all three of those. So interwebs.. here is the question. What is there that is a.) tasty b.) healthy c.) not crazy expensive and d.) not really really REALLY time consuming to cook because, you know, I hate to take too much time away from twitter the kids.

I menu plan. Heh okay I EVERYTHING plan. I make lists of lists that I need to make. That’s how many lists I have. So anyways, I plan out a week’s worth of meals at the time and then do the entire week’s shopping on Fridays. This is both good and bad I suppose. I do it because I just don’t have the energy to run to the store every day or two with both kids in tow. However, I’m beginning to rethink that strategy because one big run with two kids is tough too, especially with cart space already at a premium. Also inevitably I decide half way through the week that I’ve already made the two or three things I thought sounded really good and that chicken can just stay in the freezer until next week… let’s order a pizza. But the thought of deciding what is for dinner on the spot on a night by night basis is pretty scary too.

The take away of this post I guess is that something just ain’t working with my system and I need a new one. Also, recipes are always welcome. I’m sooo ready for Crock Pot weather…

As I’m sure most everyone in this country can relate, I will never forget that morning. I was at Johnny T, where else? It was bright and early and I had a girl coming in for an interview that morning. CNN.com was going sllooowwww and we had the radio on. I thought I heard something about a plane and the announcer was really animated sounding. Then the phone rang and it was Jimmy calling MB to tell her what was going on. We listened and things reached the almost panic stage where we just didn’t know what was going to happen next. Was this going to happen everywhere? They said on the radio that nuclear power plants were possible targets and the guy I was seeing at the time was at school fairly close to one. My interview, Denise, arrived and we had to tell her what was going on. I’m not sure we really interviewed her, but she got the job anyway. After she left I drove to my parents’ house nearby and got a TV to take back to work. We all sat on the counter and watched the static-y images on the local station. The boss decided we should just go home. My parents and I spent the rest of the day watching CNN. They stayed with me that night so I wouldn’t be by myself in the house and I pulled the big screen over so we could see it from my bedroom. People searching for loved ones, analysts trying to figure out what in the hell had happened. The enormity of it sinking in.

I’ve heard a lot of people say that date changed their lives. I don’t know if I really attribute September 11th with me deciding to finally make some big changes or not. Shortly thereafter the Power Plant guy and I finally gave up and I started dating Andrew. That following fall was actually one of the happiest times in recent memory. Maybe that date should serve to remind us what REAL problems are. Banging my toe on the table leg, getting up in the middle of the night with the kids for the nine thousandth time, my daughter powering off my laptop (AGAIN!) in the middle of a post… So So SO not a big deal. I am incredibly blessed. I’m going to spend today focusing on all the things right in the world. So those bastards don’t win.

Pretty sure the depression is gonna completely bury me this week. If you don’t hear from me in a few days somebody come looking for me.

One ray of sunshine: The Peanut has started putting his chubby little arms up to be picked up. Oh my hells that is cute.

So. Sooooo. First day back from a hella weekend on the road. Peanut woke up and had to be tucked back in FOUR times last night. One, two, three FOUR times. That’s too many times. Then in the span of about eight minutes this morning :

1.) I caught Lily the cat peeing on Weebles‘ toddler bed that I had JUST made up with clean sheets and blankets. That cat freaking loves to pee on stuff fresh out of the dryer. She clearly is a high maintenance diva type. As I was ripping everything back off the bed, swearing at the cat while giving her the evil eye and shoving everything in the washer I hear the Weebles from the kitchen.. UT OH..

2.) Weebles had dumped the entire contents of her glass of milk over the kitchen table. It was waterfalling down over all four chairs and all over the floor. Well eff me runnin’… sigh. So I’m mopping that up when…

3.) I realize the Peanut has a dirty diaper. So’s I throw all the dirty towels from the milk incident into the washer with everything else and head off to change his nappy. While he was on the changing table…

4.) Weebs casually walks in with Andrew’s contact lens bottle in her mouth as though it was a sport bottle of some sort. Wha??? SHIT Off to call poison control. Give her plenty to drink, chuckle chuckle she’ll be fine. Sigh.

Other notables? Well I made tea this afternoon and the pitcher wasn’t up against the tea maker all the way so about half a gallon of tea went all over my counter, under my appliances, soaked an entire roll of paper towels and just nearly missed my laptop which I was using to research sloppy joe recipes. Also amusing was going to the garage to grab a bucket and bringing it in the house only to notice a petrified dead mouse in the bottom of it.

LOOK KARMA I GET IT ALREADY. Sheesh.

Sloppy joes were tasty though. Really tasty.

Mary’s Tuesdays-that-are-Mondays-suck-worse-than-regular-Mondays Sloppy Joes

1 lb ground beef
1/2 cup chopped onion
1/2 cup chopped green pepper
2 tsp garlic powder
2 tsp yellow mustard
1 cup (or more to desired consistency) ketchup
3 T brown sugar

Brown the beef with the onions and pepper. Drain. Add other ingredients and let simmer ten or fifteen minutes. I added a little bit of water to make ‘em extra sloppy. I’ll never use that canned stuff again.

We’re in the great state of Tennessee for the.. well.. day I guess. It is a whirlwind this weekend. We had the kids in the van for something like 9 out of just under 24 hours and I was about to go batty for sure. They have been champs though. Weebles has really been loving all the new things to see and do. As for me, I’m enjoying my evening in a hotel room in the dark with two sleeping kids. WhoOoOoOoO!

The Peanut’s nursery is finally “done.” I still would like to find him a rug and a lamp.. but otherwise we’ve accomplished all we wanted to do in there. It is super cozy. I even somewhat enjoy getting to sleep up there half the night on the couch while nursing him. Weebles’ loves playing in there since we’ve spent so much time in there getting it set up. Next up (and already in the works) is her room. Stay tuned!

My adrenaline rushes when I think about being that mother of the “slapped by a stranger in Wal-Mart” toddler. The question has been flying all around twitter and various blogs and even CNN with the lovely Kristen from Motherhood Uncensored this morning: What would you have done?

I can certainly tell you what I would have wanted to do. I would have wanted to beat the living hell out of that man. Any person that even thinks about hurting my babies earns themselves an immediate “You go to hell, you go to hell and you die!” from me. They don’t talk about the Mama Bear instinct for nothing. It is very real. I remember overhearing that my mother told someone that she thought my daughter (who had trouble gaining weight and was by no means a chubby baby, but even if she was, babies are supposed to be chubby dammit) was overweight when she was a couple of months old. I could have kicked my own mother’s ass for that one. As it was I called her up and blessed her out and refused to tell her the Weebles’ weight for at least a year.

What I would have actually done? Well I imagine I would have been way too stunned to do anything. It would most likely have become one of those instances that you look back on thinking “why didn’t I do this, or that instead of just stand there?” I’m sure I would be consoling my child as well because HELLO dumbass, do you think HITTING A CHILD is going to calm them down? Fuckwit. If someone’s kid is pissing you off that bad, hit the parent you moron. Oh that’s right.. that would have meant taking on someone his own size.

I did wonder this morning as I wandered around Wal-Mart with my shopping list that was half eaten and covered in drool from my baby what other shoppers were thinking of us. My daughter must have said “mommy” three thousand times during the half hour we were in the store. It goes a little something like this “mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, cracker! CRACKER mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy MORE CRACKER, mommy.” At some points she decides to revert to crawling. Not sure why on that one other than she suspects that it drives me bonkers. My son was reaching from his seat and managing to get hold of items I had put in the cart. He completely ate the tag off a pair of pajamas. The kid has a thing for paper. I also got to the check out and found a Winnie the Pooh stuffed animal holding a baby blanket under the cart. I bought it because I didn’t really know what else to do with it. Baby gift perhaps? Small price to pay to get next week’s grocery shopping done. FTW!

UPDATE FROM ONE YEAR IN THE FUTURE: That Pooh Bear she chose? She has slept with it every night since. Reminder to self: don’t dismiss kids’ actions too quickly. They know more than you think they do.

4:15 AM : I hear the Peanut (8 months old) over the monitor. I head up to his room assuming he is hungry and needs to nurse and will go back to sleep. Error #1: Never assume.

5:00 AM : After much rocking and bouncing and nursing and pleading I give up on him going back to sleep. We head downstairs and I put him in his bouncy seat and turn on Classical Baby. I need at least 20 minutes to mourn the remainder of my sleep.

6:00 AM : The Weebles (just barely 2 years old) wakes up. She has been sleeping, along with her Sing Along Elmo Doll, in our bed for the last month because she absolutely refuses her crib. She plays with her little brother while my husband gets ready for work.

I start load of laundry #1 (sheets)

7:00 AM : Husband leaves for work and I feed both kids breakfast. Note: I didn’t say they ATE it. After breakfast I take a shower, which my toddler insists upon joining me for. I let my infant crawl around in our (carpeted) bathroom while we get ready. He bangs on the door to the shower and cries when I won’t let him come in too. Total time in shower: 2 1/2 minutes. Error #2 : Don’t bother trying to shower.

Switch laundry, start load of laundry #2 (darks)

9:00 AM : Get everyone diapered, nurse the baby, pack up the sippies and snacks, find my keys and cell phone, buckle everyone into the van. Off to run errands. The Peanut falls asleep the minute we pull into the parking lot. Is understandably pissed when I wake him up to go inside. Hey buddy, I know how you’re feeling. (see 4:00 AM) Error #3 : Don’t try to go out during naptime, even if you know the baby isn’t going to sleep if you stay home.

9:30 AM : In Target, Weebles insists we get the huge cart with the little seat for big kids. It is a beast to push around. She sits in it all of about forty five seconds before she bolts. Then I’m stuck chasing her AND pushing around a transfer truck of a cart. I dole out one of those applesauce pouches and she walks calmly beside me for a couple of minutes. “Mommy more applesauce. Mommy more applesauce.” Repeat 100 times. Error #4 ALWAYS bring more applesauce.

11:00 AM : Rush back home to feed kids lunch. Note: I didn’t say they ATE it. Nurse the baby and try to put him down since he only had a five minute morning nap. He’s having none of it. Wide awake and ready to go. Let him play in the pack n’ play while I read stories and tuck his sister in for her nap. Error #5 : Don’t count on eight month old needing any naps whatsoever.

Switch laundry, start load of laundry #3 (towels)

1:00 – 3:00 PM : The Weebles naps. I blog, check email, twitter while the Peanut crawls around and plays in his room. I try to put him down three more times. He finally drifts off and as his little head hits the crib mattress I hear his sister wake up. Error #6 : Don’t even let yourself CONSIDER the option of having half hour to yourself while both children nap. You will be disappointed.

Switch laundry, start load of laundry #4 (whites)

3:00 – 3:05 : The Peanut naps. I kid you not.

Spend the afternoon folding laundry, playing blocks, changing diapers, handing out snacks that have an equal chance of getting ground into the carpeting as they do making it into toddler’s mouth, changing children’s shirts (spit up, water from the sink, baby food, finger paint.. the list goes on), deflecting telemarketers, and in general begging my husband to hurry up and come home.

Switch laundry, start load of laundry # 5 (baby clothes)

5:00 PM : Time to start dinner. Let Weebles’ play with water toys on the screened in porch while the Peanut hangs out in the Pack n’ Play. Empty dishwasher and reload with dishes that have accumulated during the day.

6:00 PM : Husband gets home. It is all a race from here. The baby is falling apart in his high chair. The Weebs has on no clothes because she got soaked on the porch earlier and insists on sitting on my lap. I feed everyone dinner. Note: I didn’t say they ATE it.

7:00 PM : We rush through the bath/pj/teeth brushing routine. I take the baby upstairs and nurse him and tuck him in. Head downstairs to join in with story time with my daughter. The baby is already fussing over the monitor. Husband goes upstairs to rock the baby to sleep while I read stories and tuck in the Weebles. I lie with her while she flips, flops, laughs, sings, crawls under the pillows, and otherwise avoids going to sleep for the next hour and a half.

9:00 PM : Finally both children are asleep. For now…

For more glimpses into the day of a baby buncher head over to Baby Bunching.