One Perfect Mess

Archive for July, 2009

It’s been a semi-self imposed media blackout this past week. I know my dozens of loyal readers have been wondering just what on earth has happened to me. There’s been a lot going on of late and most of it I am not yet inclined to discuss at length. The kids are doing great. We’ve been trying to get out of the same old routine and find some new things for them to explore. I’ve been trying to keep up with my favorite bloggers without falling into too much time on the interwebs. I’m joining up with NaBloPoMo in August so it is just as well to have taken a bit of a break before that whirlwind starts. For reals though, doesn’t anybody want or know of a good home for a lively trained Husky? I don’t know what else we can do to locate his owners and without a fence we just don’t have the space for him to run like he needs to.

What the hell are you doing with your schedule? Are you not aware that children THRIVE on routine? What is up with these marathons of shows at odd times of the day. Every day the schedule is different. Don’t you know that we eat breakfast during Franklin and lunch during Oswald. And if I have to watch the Fresh Beat Band, which was only a month ago the Jump Arounds, one more damn time I’m going to flip. They aren’t any more talented or appealing than they were with the old name. Nope, still sucks. I want to kick that tall white guy in the teeth. I don’t know who is in charge over there but please fix it. The next thing I know I’ll be watching two straight days of Oobi.

Love,
me

PS. If you tinker with Wubbzy in the 5:30 time slot, we’re through.

PPS. If anyone out there is feeling judgy about my kids watching TV during mealtime I respectfully tell you to suck it. I have to put my baby down for a nap while my toddler is eating and unless you have a better idea the best thing I’ve found for keeping her from covering my walls with mac and cheese is to let her zone out to “educational” telly. She’s got real good interpersonal skills I tell ya…

Since I have no new posts from the majority of blogs I read I have been left with nothing else to do during naptime except pack clean put away laundry shred blog myself.

I’ve spent both yesterday evening and this morning trying out new recipes for the little pre-baptism breakfast we are hosting at the church. So far I’m 0 for 3. Sigh. The first recipe I tried was Mini Lemon Blueberry Muffins. I realized as I was making it that it seemed like a very little amount of sugar and also quite a lot of salt. The batter tasted like lemon PlayDoh. Can I say PlayDoh? Where is my Blogger Ethics manual? Lost? Well that’s no surprise around here.

The second recipe was for Sausage Balls. I’ve seen these a million places but never made them. Paula Deen’s recipe called for 4 cups cheese, 3 cups Bisquick to 1 lb sausage. I have one hell of a time trying to get all that cheese and Bisquick incorporated and ultimately did not succeed very well. When I baked them they ended up with one flat side because I didn’t think to flip them every so often. I think I’ll try them again but with less Bisquick and probably less cheese and see what happens.

The third recipe I had high hopes for. It takes Crescent roll dough and adds a cream cheese/sugar/lemon mixture with a spoonful of cherry pie filling on top. I’m not sure where things went wrong with this recipe. But they were not nearly as pretty or tasty as I’d hoped.

So I’m back to the drawing board. It is sort of an awkward situation whenever there is a breakfast like this because of the Weebles’ egg allergy. I’d rather do everything myself rather than delegate because then I know everything will be safe for her. I try really hard to not eat things in front of her she can’t have. Anybody have any good breakfast finger food recipes?

I have been thinking about what brings on the “terrible twos” and I think there is a point where a child goes from being a cute little bundle just along for the ride to being their own person. This, at least for us, is coinciding with the second birthday. Now my daughter knows what she wants and has the means to ask for it. She understands choices and desperately wants to be able to make them for herself. This has been really hard for me to come to grips with. But after giving it some thought while lying in bed for hours upon hours waiting for her hard head to go to sleep I can see why this change is (of course) necessary and also welcome. I’m glad to see her growing and learning. I’m glad to see her new found independence and hope that she learns to really appreciate and trust herself. It is a lot of responsibility on us as parents to make sure she gets the guidance she needs from us so that she learns how to cope with her bigger than life emotions and also how to make good decisions. Yipes. File this one under: Who thought us being parents was a good idea?

So you might have noticed I haven’t written anything of substance ever since last Tuesday. There is a very good reason for this. Well actually two reasons. 1.) I’m lazy. but 2.) My kids are trying to do me in. More specifically the Weebles. Did you know toddlers are batshit crazy? CRAZY??!?! Some days she wakes up in the morning screaming her head off. Beside me in bed! She’s not even shut up in some horrid crib all by herself abandoned to wake up alone and afraid. No no no. She’s snuggled into a king sized feather bed soft cushy snuggle land. Where she sleeps freaking sideways on the pillows no less and kicks her dad in the head all night. It is as though I didn’t foresee her need for milk, Blue’s Clues, my chap stick fast enough. I should have known before she even woke up to have whatever it is she might want directly in front of her eyes to appease her. The day continues on from there. The least little change in wind direction is apt to throw her into a spiral of despair. And good luck cheering her up because the girl can hold a grudge. And the sleeping, oh my God the sleeping. She just plain doesn’t want to. No thank you, none for me today. She didn’t go down for a nap yesterday until three. That is 3+ hours later than usual. I admit I gave up for a bit there and told her to watch TV and leave me alone or I might totally lose it but a big chunk of that three hours was spent patting, nursing, negotiating, threatening, yada yada. Bedtime was a similar story except I decided to doze off while she was supposed to be doing the same. She thought it would be clever to poke her finger up my nose. She found this outright hilarious, but I did not share her sentiment. I honestly feel like I spent the entire time I was home yesterday trying to convince someone to sleep. Sigh. I know this is just a phase. We’ve been here before. And even the very worst of days have moments of clarity where I see her share her favorite toy with her little brother or she runs up and throws her arms around me and gives me kisses. I know we’ll weather this rocky patch and come out the other side a little more grown up, both her and me.

Today was what I guess you’d call “one of those days.” If by “those days” you mean a day where I really did consider getting in my car putting it in drive and going. Keep in mind that to get out of the driveway I have to go in reverse and that by putting it in drive I’d be plowing straight into the woods and you get the picture. Naptime just went straight to hell. I don’t know what went wrong. We have a routine, we stick to it. Nobody around here is crazy. We know you do.not.mess.with.the.routine.

Fed the Weebs her lunch, went upstairs to nurse the Peanut and tuck him in. Only he didn’t go to sleep. Fine, so I’ll tuck him in anyway and go get W ready for nap. Maybe he’ll just fall asleep on his own. Diaper, hands and face washed, all fifty seven required lovey items located and thrown onto the bed… arrg there is the P is over the monitor starting to sound panicked. Upstairs I went to discover a funky diaper. Well okay, fair enough kid. Get him all cleaned up, nursed (again) and tucked back in. Teeth brushing for W, another diaper and into the bed with some books. All through Goodnight Moon and ChickaChicka Boom Boom I could hear him up there doh doh dohing and smacking at his crib farm wondering why it wasn’t playing. Nurse the W alllllllmost to sleep and figure she’ll get herself the rest of the way, things are getting desperate upstairs. Up I go to find a wide awake six month old. Sigh. Fine little man, into the saucer you go. I figured I’d let him hang out with me in the office awhile before his nap.

What’s that noise? The Weeble is up? Seriously? WTF? Back downstairs to threaten her with time out if she didn’t get back into bed. Major tantrum. She insisted she wanted to sleep upstairs so, wait a minute? did you pee AGAIN? diaper change #3, then up we go to her new toddler bed. I hated to discourage her since she was asking, even though I knew it was going to end badly. Sure enough she was in, she was out. Threats were made. I threw her in her crib for a few LOUD minutes to show her I meant business. Moved Peanut back to his crib since I didn’t want to leave him alone in the saucer… back downstairs with W… and so on and so forth. It took me 2 1/2 hours of constant nursing, changing, and threatening to get those two to sleep. I sunk into the couch with the laptop ready to tweet my misery when oh.my.GOD is that my son up already? Seriously did I run over the Patron Saint of Naps’ cockapoo or something? Not even ten minutes he slept. As I pondered what to do I heard the Weebs downstairs wailing. Are you kidding me? No freaking way. The afternoon did not improve from there. And as I write this my husband is outside pushing the toddler in the stroller for what must be the ten millionth mile trying to get her to sleep. There’s always tomorrow right?

When there just aren’t any coherent thoughts… here are some winners I decided not to tweet, complete with hashtags.

The Peanut’s first teeth are starting to come in. So far he’s been a real champ about it. #thewhiskeymustbeworking

My uncle spent the weekend visiting with us and the kids. He had one too many daiquiris and got the giggles and in general behaved like an asshat. Good times. #atleasthedidn’tstealfromus

Left the Weebles’ with her Papa for the first time while I ran to Wal-Mart. Got the call ten minutes later to pick her up. Found her alone in the back yard sobbing in the grass. #babysittingfail

Still pondering how to go about tactfully asking someone I haven’t seen in awhile if they are pregnant. Either they are or they need to burn the shirt they are wearing in that photo. #justsayin

Peanut is outgrowing the minicrib but Weebles is still sleeping in the full size one. Can’t decide whether to buy a second full size crib or get with the program and finish babyproofing the entire upstairs and move Weebs to a big girl bed. #babybunchinghurtsmybrain

Both my kids are about to be in the same size diapers even though they are a year and a half apart. #thingsthatmakemylifeeasier

After looking at some recent photos on the Facespace I have come to the conclusion that while I never really felt I “got” fashion I am totally lost at what people are wearing these days. I saw a picture of one girl wearing a full on 80′s get up and then another her same age wearing a skin tight t-shirt with a picture of a wrestler on it. #imustbereallyreallyreallyold